Yeah, yeah, I’ve already recorded an entire episode of the Pony Tricks Comic Cast about my experience this past weekend at Wizard World Richmond, but I figured why stop there when I can distill what I’ve learned into a quick list while simultaneously checking the “update blog” box on my weekly to-do list as lazily as possible? Anyway, you’re totally welcome. If you’re thinking about attending a big old comic convention, and especially if you’re thinking about going to one of Wizard World’s myriad events across the country, look no further for everything you need to know before hitting the con floor.
1. For a comic book convention, Wizard World doesn’t actually offer all that much in the way of comics. But they do have sugar gliders.
2. Half the people you can pay to have a professional photo op with will let you take a picture with them at their autograph booth for way cheaper, if not for free.
3. If you take a picture with someone and you smile you’re going to look like a jackass because they’re going to be making tough guy face and you’re going to be standing there with a giant grin like an idiot.
4. If you are too cool to take a selfie Michael Rooker is more than willing to take it for you.
5. If you don’t tell the fat old creep wearing sunglasses indoors at night to shut up when he starts loudly telling his first story about following a celebrity’s car and then stalking them into the lobby of a hotel and cornering them for an autograph no one else will. And he’ll start telling a second and a third and a hundredth. Regular moose muffin shit. On the bright side, he’ll make it abundantly clear that he “doesn’t do it for the money.”
6. There are people out there who meet Adam West to have him sign Family Guy pictures.
7. Finding Gus Fring’s box cutter of choice (neon green by Safety Grip) in the hopes of getting it signed by Giancarlo Esposito is a pipe dream.
8. People will think that being bald and wearing maroon is all you have to do to be Captain Jean-Luc Picard but they are wrong. Dead wrong.
9. If you aren’t sure what someone’s costume is just assume it’s Doctor Who and go about your day.
10. Some lady told me Ron Perlman is pretty nice and she seemed pretty nice, so, I don’t know. I believe her I guess.
The more you know, amiright? Anyway, like I said. You’re welcome.