Hey! Hey you!
The 2014 Academy Awards are on in three hours, which gives you plenty of time to check out my thoughts on a majority all nine of the Best Picture nominees. Sorry, Philomena.
But no self-respecting blogger would dare let Oscar Sunday come and go without chiming in with their own rampant speculation as to the big winners of Hollywood’s most obnoxious night. So, without further ado, I present to you, the reader, both rampant speculation and the contents of my Academy Award bracket, which I have bet real live money on, probably.
Best Supporting Actor – Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
Best Supporting Actress – Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years a Slave
Best Lead Actor – Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave
Best Lead Actress – Sandra Bullock, Gravity
Achievement in Directing – Martin Scorsese, The Wolf of Wall Street
Best Picture – 12 Years a Slave
It’s worth noting that I’ve been correct about Best Picture once, on a whim, and that I’ve got a gift for sizing up “the cut of someone’s jib.” Whether these traits will serve me well or not in 2014 remains to be seen, but you can come back tomorrow for my presumably triumphant commentary.